| to self..
private entry vent binge and purge. okay.
no smiley to describe me
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| bleeding eyes. so i hide. catch me in black. i need to find my angel of darkness poem. hating corneas. on glasses. doont shoot. fuck you. dont look at me. if i didnt have myself i would be no one - teenage mother. teenage genius. separate the two. 0. and so? why try. dislike love arrogance intellect beauty pain shallow anti socialbutterfly fun i wish hate. avalanche. boo. we who? weew0o why? my conscience called at midnight. i couldnt answer. invisible restraint stronger than sound. scared what of? slap warms face, appreciate feeling still. i suppose. im sleepy. ow, sensual . . . |
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| ok man my fingers r bugging me this week grrr well w/e the year feels like its on an uphill steep slow sumthing eh i hope this summer is cool. so hey i got national hispanic merit and commendable general national merit and i have state sci fair in like a few days and college finals are over but cams finals still await... man... where is life taking me... i often wonder... i hope with all my might its sumwhere good.
were moving. i think i know where but i heard sumthing last night that tells me otherwise but i think its the same general area wow. so much upheaval in life... the last two years of HS man... trying times ... im just trying to keep my head above water and when ive finally doggie paddled to a stable place bonkz here comes another wave to leave me gasping like a fish outta water... my life hasnt been perfect not at all but sum things had been stable and now bonkie it seems que todo esta upside down o sumthing like that... so i hope i land on my feet, even if its not in the same spot.
oh dios mio
ayudame...no...ayudanos...
note to self: private entry |
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| oh dear oh my.... am i coming down with an early case of senioritis gahh... must fight it... must resist... cant give in.......
lame
winding down
with an upward spin.
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| i dont blog on myspace kuz myspace is mostly a whore so hey ima write here i kinda miss blogging ... u know life is all whirlie whorl this and that mesh and mash i want to get a glimpse of my memories when i am 85 yrs old i wanna know what it was like... a glimpse of the good times memorable yet to come i want a sense of okay-ness that ill end up sumwhere good sumwhere happy ... warm...sumwhere i can smile a nostalgic smile full of wonder and joy and rememberance and ... love, u know that whole running between an interminable set of cones and every1 else is doing the same and sumtimes others get ahead of u and other times u think uve finally got the hang of the left right left but den u look up and see how long there still is to go and how many ppl are ahead of u and during that second of being distracted u fall and den u get even further behind and when ur finally up agen u gotta regain the lost turf and time and yet... it continues......
nostalgia.
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